Notes for a Paleface Museum

Only I never came back
	I was not going to be long
	—W. S. Merwin
1
I live where Lady Gaga files her taxes
	where the police
	do as they please
	where this paleface multitude
	carries on breeding
	because nobody calls
	the social services you know thanks to the movies
	to take away those kids
	they’ve raised under a gaslight
	on pills of passive-aggression and supremacies
	for childhood was invented
	for kids as blond as idiot hatchlings
	who don’t know what to do in a world
	where they are not the center of gravity
	years after they were called upon to rule
	and stick their hands under the wall.
2
Sometimes I walk around the track at your elementary school
	I hold tight to headphones and sunscreen
and I imagine myself going back
	and ending up mad with mamá’s madness
	and papá and I grilling up possums and pigeons
	and us dying like some splendid assholes
and I thank you for the vacation.
3
I will scream like the crows
	pick up feathers
	put black dead birds in the freezer
	the thing is these people
	have never come across a true mystic
	someone who spits blood
	and knows how to fill out the form after an autopsy
	like a fox who has read over four books
	and seven coffee grounds
	someone who has indeed cooked toads
	and holds the billy goat’s key
meanwhile they go buy trinkets at ethnic markets
	and remind you that they voted for Obama
	before Obama was even born.
4
Sometimes I think my husband
	was lost in the woods as a boy,
	that they murdered him on one of those adventures
	with his Boy Scout troop
	sometimes I think they took him and that this,
	what they returned to me, or rather
	what I scraped up with a spatula
	is a shot that punctures, lands
	and hides in a cicada carcass.
5
Everything is racial for the gringos
	even making you feel guilty
	for not knowing how to drive
	just when they needed it the most
the gringos only know how to think
	in terms of customer service.
6
I don’t know why we’re surprised that white people are racist.
	Have you seen how they treat each other?
	They live in a lonesome sarcasm contest
	to claim they’re the most brilliant of the litter
	they set the scene as if being considered
	for a screenwriting job
	on an edgy A24 comedy
	and tear each other apart
	with the same psychopathic half-smile
	they wear when they hold the door for you
	and still you go pretty far
then they’re surprised when their kids
	don’t visit
	shoot cocaine up their ass
	or pick up a rifle and go down in history as another school shooting.
7
I’m calling my next cat Cardiac Arrest
	and he will be the bearer of my dreams of late in which I die childless
	alone in a hospital for second-class humans like myself
	whether or not they crossed the border on horseback
	because the horse is something that you bear inside yourself, I mean.
8
I need papers to cease to exist
	like my greatest inaccuracy
	I need to measure
	my life in spoonfuls of melatonin
a border is a border is a border
I want to hold this landscape in my hand
	it is papá before the sniveling
	it is papá full of hope and feathers
	because he supposed I’d be successful
	and not die crossing sniffing sorting out some line
	I was the party
	learning to reclaim my monster in two tenses
but who knows
	sometimes
	I can barely breathe
	and the task of staying alive leaves me blind.
Translation from the Spanish
Co-Translators’ Notes
	by Jenna Tang & Arthur Malcolm Dixon
Translating across Borders
by Jenna Tang
Translating Enza García Arreaza’s poems, to me, is an act of activism. The more I decipher the language of hers, the more I feel seen.
As a translator and writer who grew up in Taiwan, a place that is still unfamiliar to many English speakers, there are views about America—especially views about racism in America—that are shared not only by Taiwanese people but also by the internationals who are looking at America from different sides. What makes our cultures so unseen, once we step out of home? Why is there a hierarchy of our rights to express ourselves, or to even exist on this side of the world?
Every culture has its own identity. Coming from one place never means coming from one culture only. We are all hopes and dreams together looking for a place to speak, to scream, and to live. Every individual exists with a diversity of cultural experiences, be they regional or widely international. Diversity is a thought kept within us that connects us with one another. Our stories matter, and the merciless reality of our stories having to coexist with white supremacy and power dynamics makes it ever more important to speak up, to show who we are, and that’s the energy I felt while translating Enza’s “Notes for a Paleface Museum.”
Enza speaks boldly about American whiteness. She speaks about the emotional impact of self, having to carry our stories while attempting to live in a new place that is not always welcoming to us. How do we perceive the idea of “border” now? What are borders for? Can borders exist while diversity seeks to thrive? This is a series of daring verses that spark great conversations. I feel honored to have the opportunity to translate Enza’s work and to share my perception of these topics with my co-translator Arthur Malcolm Dixon.
“Coming from one place never means coming from one culture only.” —Jenna Tang
False Universals
by Arthur Malcolm Dixon
Translating “Notes for a Paleface Museum” put me in a position as a translator that is unhealthily uncommon: it brought me face-to-face with my whiteness.
The predominant whiteness of literary translation into English is thankfully beginning to fade, as is evidenced by the work of my talented co-translator Jenna Tang and many others. But it is still the norm for white translators like me to bring writing from other languages into English.
This is not inconsequential. Our whiteness tends to lull us into a false sense of universality. We have the privilege of seeing ourselves as the standard—the etymologically apt “blank slate” whose blankness makes it the ideal transmitter of foreign speech. But, as Enza García Arreaza suggests in this poem, whiteness comes with its own distinctions, expectations, prerogatives, and pathologies. The circumstances of our birthplace, race, first language, and so on are just as relevant to our practices as they would be to any other translator’s. This does not mean white translators shouldn’t translate authors of color, but it does mean we should think, while translating, about our place in the world and how this place may differ from that of the author at hand.
“Our whiteness tends to lull us into a false sense of universality.” —Arthur Malcolm Dixon
Translating Enza’s poem, this was not optional. She addresses whiteness directly and white people anthropologically—a taste of our own medicine sans spoonful of sugar. It would be impossible to translate this poem without thinking about whiteness from without. It demands that its translator see white people as “they” rather than “we.”
This is good for us. I see all translation, literary or otherwise, as a pursuit of empathy, and empathy demands that we look in at ourselves from the outside. I’m thankful to Enza for this chance to pursue empathy as one only can through translation, and to Jenna for sharing it with me.